Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
