It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
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