I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize
