Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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