Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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