I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
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