We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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