What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
