he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
