Having a random hookup so left but love u
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
