You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Come see our sink grown plant.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
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