people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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