The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
