i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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