we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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