New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
