i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize