To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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