4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
