it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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