Betty ford says i'm here all night
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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