i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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