When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
