1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
