38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
