; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize
