i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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