my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
this hospital has no fireball
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
