did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize