Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
