she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I am full of burrito and curiosity
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
