their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
