just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
