I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize
