isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Randomize
