So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
