What did we do last night that was yellow?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Holy sore nipples Batman
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
last night I used snow as a chaser
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
