i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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