Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
