I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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