dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Randomize
