My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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