he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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