There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
