I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
As shirtless as possible
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
