I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
