There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
