I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
