we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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