how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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