dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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