All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
