she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
