happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
