mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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