i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
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