His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Edward fifth and chaser hands
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
