READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
