Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
