I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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