why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize