The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
