Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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