Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize