I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
