i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
