not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Enjoy the penises
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
