Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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