So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize