We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
It's official drugs can't kill me
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
