he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
