Sry I called you an 8
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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