I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
